Will Smith and Jada Pinkett already had experience raising a child as they co-parented Will’s son Trey Smith from his previous marriage to Sheree Zampino. And when they welcomed their son Jaden Smith in 1998 and daughter Willow Smith in 2000, the Smiths decided to create a “family business plan” to foster an environment where all of their childrens’ dreams could come true. But things haven’t always gone as planned.
Here’s an inside look at Will Smith and Jada Pinkett’s unconventional parenting and what it’s like to be raised by two Hollywood megastars.
Will Smith tried to be like Joe Jackson
Will Smith admitted to Oprah Winfrey that he pushed his children to explore their talents and career opportunities early on because in Will’s words: “Mommy and Daddy are rich. You all are broke.” In other words, Will was determined to make his children superstars and unleash his inner Joe Jackson.
Willow and Jaden both starred alongside their dad in various movies and have released chart-topping music, with Jaden enjoying commercial success at the age of 12 when he was featured on Justin Bieber’s song “Never Say Never,” and Willow was just 9-years-old when she released her hit song “Whip My Hair.”
On an episode of Facebook’s Red Table Talk, Willow called “Whip My Hair” and the song’s subsequent success a “really terrible experience.”
The Smiths shopped her around for a record deal before signing WIllow to Roc Nation in 2010. Her debut album was added to the label’s release schedule, only to be delayed over and over again because of Willow’s refusal to finish the project.
Meanwhile, Will and Jada were experiencing marital issues. They split up in the summer of 2011 following Jada’s 40th birthday fiasco. For more details on that story, make sure to check out our Will and Jada red flags article after we wrap things up here.
This is how Willow Smith responded to the pressure
But TMZ reported it was more than just Will and Jada feuding about her birthday party that led to their separation. The gossip website stated there was tension over how to best manage Willow and Jaden’s careers. Will was pushing for full-blown superstardom, while Jada wanted their children to ease into the industry.
The Smiths reconciled at the end of 2011, but Will didn’t release his desire to turn Willow into a star. Willow told Oprah that her dad would stay with her in the studio and tell her: “If you work through this, then you’ll get a hit and everybody will buy it and you’ll get lots of money.”
She signed on for a month-long tour with Justin Bieber following the success of ”Whip My Hair.” However, in his memoir, Will stated Willow expressed her desire to quit the tour even though she still had performance obligations.
Will refused to let her quit, so, in an act of defiance, 11-year-old Willow shaved her head. Will said his jaw nearly dislocated after seeing his daughter’s head, and his mind was racing:
“How was she going to whip her hair if she didn’t have any? Who the hell wants to pay to watch some kid whip their head back and forth?”
After some time, it finally clicked for him, and he understood why she did it and what she was going through. But when Willow debuted her shaved head online in early 2012, the Smiths felt the backlash from online users who didn’t know the entire story and thought the Smiths were too lenient with their children.
Willow Smith opens up about self-harm
Willow continued to struggle with the pressures of her new career. She wanted to sing, but the stress associated with the business side of things was too much. She started to cause deliberate pain to her body and said on an episode of Red Table Talk that she was listening to a lot of dark music and, quote, “plunged into this black hole.”
Thankfully, Willow is in a much better place and no longer resorts to self-harm.
After four years, her album was scrapped. It wasn’t until 2014 that she decided to pursue music again… on her terms. Still signed under Roc Nation, she has released several albums and EPs.
Jaden is also signed to Roc Nation in conjunction with his own label MSFTSMusic, which Willow has since joined. He has released three studio albums, including Cool Tape Volume 3 in 2020.
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett don’t believe in discipline
In 2013, Will sat down with Haute Living and discussed one of his most important parenting techniques. He stated that in African-American households, there’s a concept of children being a piece of property, and that was something he and Jada didn’t want to establish in their home. Instead, they treat their children as equals. He told the publication, “You would never tell a full-grown adult to clean their room, so we don’t tell our kids to clean their rooms.”
Instead, they tell their children they’re borrowing a room. He added, “So we feel it’s perfectly reasonable to ask our kids to clean the rooms that we are letting them use.”
In Will and Jaden’s 2013 joint interview with Metro, Will explained how his and Jada’s parenting style doesn’t involve discipline. His children are allowed to do anything they want as long as they can explain why it was the right thing to do in their life.
He told Oprah that if they see their children going too far, they will gently pull them back. He added, “It’s about protecting you from the potential damage that you could do to yourself.”
Jada’s mom, Adrienne Banfield-Norris, wasn’t a fan of her grandchildren’s unconventional childhood. During an episode of Red Table Talk, Adrienne expressed that Jada and Will gave their children too much freedom and couldn’t understand why they treated the kids like adults.
The truth about their ‘Scientology’ elementary school
While Will’s son Trey attended Oaks Christian High School in Westlake Village where he also played on the football team, Will and Jada decided to approach education in a different way for their two younger children.
The Smiths began an elementary homeschool program in one of their unused homes. According to The Daily Beast, at the time, the school included about 20-30 students, including Jaden and Willow.
In 2008, they moved the program to the old Indian Hills High School and named their private elementary institution the New Village Leadership Academy. Former staff members and teachers later spoke to The Daily Beast and alleged the curriculum was geared towards the Official Church of Scientology — a set of beliefs and practices invented by the late author L. Ron Hubbard.
One former teacher stated Jada ordered all teachers to take courses at Scientology’s Celebrity Center in Hollywood, and also at the Applied Scholastics — which is a Scientology-affiliated group. The former teacher stated, “My feeling is that Jada was really into Scientology and Will was sort of whatever, but he took all the courses too.”
All teachers were told they must teach “study technology”—a method developed by L. Ron Hubbard that focuses on three principles: the use of hands-on learning, attention to the ‘gradient,’ which ensures students master one level before moving on to the next, and a technique that teaches students how to master word definitions.
Former teachers complained there was no real structure and the kids were free to do whatever they wanted.
Will and Jada repeatedly denied they were Scientologists and that the school was based on L. Ron Hubbard’s teachings…despite being close friends with Tom Cruise who was heavily involved with the church at the time. The Daily Beast also uncovered the Smiths’ 2008 tax returns for their non-profit organization, the Will & Jada Smith Family Foundation, which showed the couple gave a six-figure donation to various Scientology groups.
After the school quietly closed in 2013, Jaden tweeted: “School Is The Tool To Brainwash The Youth.”
Jaden and Willow Smith attended ‘mystery school’
From there, Willow and Jaden attended what they called “mystery school.” In an interview with GQ magazine, Jaden said their school allowed them to set their own curriculum and learn about the things that interest them.
He claimed that this mystery school was where he learned how to build a 12-and-a-half-foot pyramid that he erected in his parent’s backyard. When asked how his parents reacted to the structure on their property, Jaden said they were cool with it and always told him to be and do whatever he wanted.
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett don’t force love
While growing up, most of us are taught to love our siblings and family members. But Will Smith and Jada Pinkett’s unconventional parenting led them to approach things in a different way.
Willow said she and Jaden were never forced to love each other. Instead, their parents told them: “You have your life. He has his life. And when you guys want to come together, when you guys want to commune, that’s up to you.”
The Smith kids have the freedom of choice
The siblings developed a bond so deep that they can practically read each other’s minds. Willow told Interview magazine that as children, they enjoyed dressing up at home and wearing crazy mismatched outfits. When it was time to venture outdoors, Jada was cool with them wearing whatever they wanted. Jaden told the magazine, “I feel like that’s where most of our confidence comes from. Because we weren’t told, “Oh, you don’t look good in that. You look crazy.’”
This might also explain why Jaden feels comfortable whether he’s rocking a skirt or his Batman costume, which he wore to a prom dance and to Kanye West and Kim Kardashian’s 2014 wedding. Jaden told GQ magazine, “At the wedding, I felt as though I needed to protect everyone there and needed to have the proper gear to do so.”
The emancipation of Jaden Smith
At the age of 15, Jaden told his parents he needed to move out of their home and live his life. He felt trapped in the Hollywood bubble and was also toying around with the idea of filing for emancipation.
During an episode of Red Table Talk, Jada said learning about his desire to be free was one of the most heartbreaking moments of her life, but she said to herself, “He’s right. The time is now, he’s 15, it’s time for him to leave the house.”
Although Jaden decided not to follow through with emancipating himself, he was still turned off by the Hollywood lifestyle. According to Will’s interview with Esquire magazine, Jaden’s only owned one pair of shoes, three pairs of pants, and five shirts because he refused to be a slave to money.
Willow comes out as bisexual and polyamorous
During a 2019 episode of Red Table Talk, Willow revealed her ideal relationship. She stated, “I love men and women equally and so I would definitely want one man, one woman.” Of course, Jada was on board with her daughter’s decision.
Two years later, Willow opened up about being polyamorous — the practice of having intimate relationships with more than one partner. She loved the freedom of creating the type of relationship that works for her instead of, quote, “stepping into monogamy because that’s what everyone around you says is the right thing to do.”
It appears that Willow is mirroring her parents’ relationship since Will told GQ magazine that, at some point, he and Jada stopped being monogamous as well due to Jada’s aversion to conventional marriage.
What’s next for Will Smith, Jada Pinkett, and their family?
By 2017, Jada confirmed that Jaden and Trey had officially moved out but were living about five minutes away and would visit the family compound every day. Jada said she was hoping to have some time to get her groove back and enjoy a little bit of freedom, but she added, “It’s almost like as your kids get older, they actually need you more.”
Some may describe Will and Jada as the most horrible parents on Earth, but despite the backlash they’ve received, the Smiths stand behind their parenting methods. And, by Hollywood standards, they did a pretty good job considering their children have stayed out of major trouble for the most part.
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