Jul 20, 2014

Real Housewives of New Jersey Episode 2 Recap: Christmas in July & Teresa and Her Lies

This entire season was filmed during last winter and seeing all of the Christmas trees and presents being opened just made me wish it were December already! I know I'm not the only one who felt that way! But anywaydoe, this episode was pretty tame. No yelling, no screaming and no fighting (yet).

So Joe Gorga and Melissa moved out of their home, you know, the one they sold to "get away from Teresa". They're renting a smaller home in Franklin Lakes which is the same damn city that Teresa Giudice lives in so really, what was the point of the move? Oh yeah, because they're broke and couldn't afford their McMansion anymore. And Melissa even admitted on camera "we are not moving because of Teresa". Bitch if you don't get your damn lies straight!

Joe Gorga is building a new home for him and his family and I'm guessing either one of the following will happen: 1) This will turn into a Chateau Sheree situation and the house will never be completed or, 2) He will build the house, they will live there for six months to a year and end up selling it. Wait for it...

The twins and their mother Santa (seriously, that's the broad's real name) are so hideous and annoying. I cannot stand their whiny ass Jersey voices, their tacky outfits (for real, did you see that ruffled purple number in the confessional?) and that fake story line about Teresa's son Giovanni wanting to be a part of the family business. Like come on now, he didn't look interested in that mussel pasta at all. Who are they fooling? The only way I will like the twins is if Bobby dumps Nicole and shades the hell out of her living with her parents. Something tells me that my wish might come true. I mean, he got her a shoe for Christmas. Just one damn shoe, and she can't even wear it. It's just some tacky shoe-wine holder contraption. My gawd, that has got to be the worst gift in reality t.v. history.

Teresa and Joe are still on camera talking about they will plead innocent on their fraud charges. Too bad they both plead guilty in March 2014. I swear these two are full of shyt, but they're still my faves though!

Their sentencing got postponed due to Joe's father passing away. My online searches cannot pinpoint when their new sentencing date will take place but it looks like these two will be behind bars for at least two years. Man, this is gonna suck. What is we gon' do without Queen Tre on our t.v. screens for two friggin years?!

New chick Amber is irrelevant and I have nothing to say about her nor her family.

I'm looking forward to next week because it looks like some mess is gonna go down between Amber and one of the twins (I get them mixed up so I don't know which tweedle dum is involved in the beef). *Rubs palms* This gon' be good y'all!

What did you think of this week's Real Housewives of New Jersey Episode


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