Mar 10, 2013

Real Housewives of Atlanta Episode Recap: What Happens in Vegas Has to be Approved by Your Daddy/Husband

The girls are getting ready to head off to Las Vegas for a little bit of fun. Cynthia Bailey is packing up her weave and holy fried ends! Did yall see that hair? Somebody get Cynthia some shears to clip them ends please! Kenya Moore stops by Cynthia's room and she tells her that she doesn't want Walter to be a topic of discussion especially if Phaedra and Porsha are in the room. She doesn't want to give Phaedra anymore ammunition which makes complete sense in my book. Phaedra is the kind of dirty friend that tells your business as soon as y'all have a falling out. Kenya says she doesn't know how she is going to deal on the four hour bus ride to Vegas but she thinks she will be okay as long as there is alcohol available...not that she's an alcoholic or anything...

Nene Leakes has a scene to shoot in Los Angeles so she will be flying first class to Vegas while the other ladies are riding there on a party bus. While on the bus, the ladies talk about going to the Crazy Horse strip club and Poesha immediately tells them she doesn't do strip clubs. Everyone just kind of rolls their eyes and ignore the ditzy broad.

The girls have now been on the bus for seven hours and Nene's azz is already in her hotel suite in Vegas. While on the bus, Porsha Stewart is eating pickles and the ladies are teasing her about being pregnant. Phaedra tells Porsha to feed a rabbit her urine and if the rabbit dies, that means Porsha is pregnant. Crazy lady Kenya Moore is offended that a rabbit would have to die just to find out if Porsha is pregnant or not and the ladies try to calm her down and tell her it was just a joke! Kenya is seriously riding the short bus sometimes. I worry about that girl.

The ladies have finally arrived to Vegas and they run to their hotel rooms and change into their freakum dresses. They meet up with Nene and all pile into a limo to go hit the streets. Phaedra Parks mentions that the Crazy Horse is a strip club and Porsha flips out. She feels that the ladies tricked her into going when they knew she didn't want to be up in nobodies strip club. Also, her daddy/husband Kordell would not be happy with her being in a nudies bar. Nene is pissed because it's supposed to be a girl's trip and everyone should be open to doing what everyone else wants to do. As soon as they step out of the limo at the Crazy Horse, Porsha hugs everyone and leaves to go back to the hotel. The ladies say "bye biatch!" to Porsha and head into the strip club. While inside, they then have a roundtable discussion about Porsha letting Kordell control her. Nene decides to have a discussion with Porsha on how she should be living her life for herself, not for her husband. I already know this will not end well!

The next day, Porsha is on the phone with her daddy/husband Kordell and he tells her not to do anything that she doesn't want to do while on the trip and the ladies shouldn't be upset about it. Oh of course he would say that. Dumb Porsha isn't intelligent enough to know that Kordell says those things to keep her incompetent azz under his thumb.

Nene gets everyone a backstage pass to the jubilee show. On the way to the show, Nene sets the "ground rules" for the weekend. She starts to tell Porshahow she needs to put Kordell in his place. Porsha thinks that Kordell makes her a better woman and although she doesn't always agree with him, she lets him run their household a certain way. Porsha then tells the ladies that she was proud that Kordell LET her go on the Vegas trip lol. This girl is a mess! I wonder if she realize how short bus shawty she sounds? But hey, if her marriage works for her...

Kandi Burruss hosts a gathering in her hotel room and she invites all the ladies to attend in their nighties. She brings her Bedroom Kandi sex toys so she can promote her new products. Can somebody tell me why Kandi is always talking about sex? When did she become a sex expert? Out of nowhere, Kandi gives Porsha a pregnancy test but Porsha doesn't want to take it in front of the ladies, she wants to do it at home with her husband. I don't know why Kandi even thought Porsha would be down to take a test on camera. Porsha is a classy woman of Atlanta, she is not no Joseline Hernandez spreading it open and pushing a stream of peepee on an EPT while being filmed.

The ladies start to play games and they want to see who can eat a strawberry the sexist. Porsha fails of course because she's the biggest prude. When it's Kenya's turn, she starts to seductively eat the strawberry and Phaedra makes a comment "somebody likes it but it looks like Walter didn't" Cottdamn!! That was cold blooded Phae-Phae!

Next, they play a question and answer game. Kenya writes a question for Phaedra about friendships being fake. They go back and forth with each other and Kenya tells Phaedra that she cut her "to the white meat" oh lawd. In the end, Kenya doens't even want an apology because she knows it won't be meaningful.

What did you think of this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta?


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