Mar 3, 2013

Real Housewives of Atlanta Episode Recap: Midnight Dinner Parties & Beautiful Bunions

Nene Leakes and Greg are in their Los Angeles home getting ready for the rest of the ladies' arrival. Nene is planning a dinner party that night so that the girls can rub elbows with some of Hollywood's elite.  She also hired a bartender and a caterer for the shindig. After hanging out in L.A. for a couple of days, all of the ladies are going to fly out to Las Vegas. You know Vegas = drama so I am expecting some drama to brew!

The ladies (minus Phaedra Parks who missed her flight)land in L.A. and they try to take a stretch Hummer to Nene's house but they quickly learn that those twisty Hollywood Hills' roads were not made for stretch limos! They get stuck on one of the roads and Nene has to come down in her Escalade to rescue them.  She drives them to the home she rented for them and she invites them to a 9 o'clock dinner party at her home. The ladies are so tired from their flight but they're going to try to make it to the dinner because Nene is their girl and they don't want to let her down.

So the party starts at nine and why are these chicks barely leaving their home at eleven o'clock? Cynthia Bailey calls Nene to tell her they are on their way and Nene straight up tells them "The party started at nine, it's eleven now and I'm not interested in having any guest. Thank you". Moded!

But the ladies still decide to pull up to Nene's house when they walk up to the door,  Nene comes out and tells them, "Don't you walk up this walkway" Nene is such a G! lol.  Kandi Burruss has that dumb azz deer in headlights look on her face (don't act like you don't know the look)

Nene is just going off on them. She feels disrespected because she took the time to plan something really nice for them and they had the nerve to be late. Kandi asks if they can get a plate to go and Nene is like "hayle naw!" Greg actually has a heart so he goes to grab them some food and walks out with a veggie platter and five Coronas.  Apparently, when Kandi gets hungry, that biatch gets HUNGRY. She starts talking mess in her little country accent but the rest of the ladies are in a pretty good mood about the whole situation (especially Nene's tampon a.k.a. Cynthia). The girls stop by Fatburger to get some grub and Kandi and her thunder thighs are finally happy.

Kenya and her saggy/lipo'd tummy is cooking breakfast for everyone so that the ladies can stay on track for the rest of the day and not piss Queen Bee Nene off (again). Porsha Stewart is trying to make coffee and is failing miserably. Has this chick ever lifted a finger a day in her life? How the hell do you not know how to work a coffee machine? Pathetic!

Nene is practicing her lines by her pool and she and Greg get into a discussion about how the ladies came to her house at midnight for a dinner party. Nene thinks the biggest problem with the group is that everyone is always late. Nene is late too, but she is only late because she knows that everyone else will be late. What kind of screwy logic is that?

The rest of the group (minus Nene) heads out to the Groundlings improv house and Kenya is excited to show off her acting skills. But wait a minute, hasn't she been acting during the entire season of the show? Anywaydoe, the ladies are going through a bunch of acting exercises and Kenya is the only one who is being so serious about everything. They do this one exercise where they have to yell compliments at each other and Kenya says to Phaedra "I love your bunions!" Porsha says to Kenya, "Your belly button is invisible!" These girls play too much!

Nene waltzes in late and totally contradicts herself and null and voids her earlier rant about "being late is disrespectful".  The group then heads off to the Hollywood set of her show "The New Normal". They take a golf cart around the set and Nene is in the driver seat. This lady cannot drive for nothing! She is all up on the curb and almost gets Kenya decapitated.

The group goes to dinner at Crustaceans (!) They get escorted to a private room so they can chat. Nene starts off the discussion by telling the ladies they are late (again) but thankfully, she's just kidding (this time).

The group starts talking about baby names and Kandi brings up how Kim Zolciak a.k.a. the Notorious W.I.G. stole her baby name. In case you forgot, Kim named her new baby "Kash" but that was the name Kandi had already picked out for her unborn son. Oh yeah, Kim was tweeting during the show and saying that she didn't steal anything and Kandi is a liar. Hmmm, should I believe the woman who lies about EVERYTHING or do I believe Kandi? I'm rolling with Kandi on this one.

The ladies start talking about the donkey booty and booty boot camp videos. Phaedra is being very choosy with her words so that Kandi cannot swaggerjack her again. The conversation quickly changes to how men use money to control them. Kandi asks Porsha how she feels about men who use money as a control mechanism and Porsha says she has no problem being a peasant in Kordell's castle. He's the man and the ruler of the palace and that's the way she likes it.

Kenya announces that she broke up with Walter and no one is shocked, especially Phaedra who says you can't "turn a whore into a housewife". Smh, step it down a knotch Phae-Phae.  Kandi drops the bomb about Walter showing up to Kordell's birthday party and Kenya is a little offended because Walter was invited and she wasn't. Porsha tells her that Walter had a good time. Kenya, rightfully so, gets upset and leaves the table as sneaky azz Porsha is sitting there with a smile on her face. Ugh, I can't stand that ditzy heffa!

Nene finds Kenya in the bathroom and Kenya is steaming mad! She feels like she doesn't have to share her relationship issues with Porsha and Phaedra. Back at the table, Phaedra says Walter is a ladies man and has dated a few of her friends.  Can someone please spill the tea on Apollo and his wandering eye? I'm sure Walter isn't the only man on the show who is stepping out with other ladies!

What did you think about this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta?


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