Feb 10, 2013

Real Housewives of Atlanta Episode Recap: Singing for the Lord, a Daddy/Husband and Where the Hell Was Nene?

Our favorite Georgia peaches are back!

The episode kicks off with Porsha Stewart who is trying on dresses for Kordell's upcoming birthday. Tina Knowles her mother and her sister stopped by to help her choose the perfect outfit. Her mother's advice was to wear a dress that shows some cleavage. Gotta love mama!

Phaedra Parks stops by Kandi Burruss' new pad. They start talking about Nene Leakes' Shoe Dazzle party where Kenya Moore came dressed up as Phaedra. Phae-Phae tries to play it off like she wasn't bothered by the shade that Kenya was throwing.  This idiot says she wasn't mad that Kenya came dressed up as her, she was more upset by the cheap Victoria's Secret panties Kenya was wearing. *Sigh* is it just me or is Phaedra getting more and more annoying as the season goes on?

Kenya and her fake booty are at the doctors office to get a biopsy done on her breast.  Kenya says that due to her fauxlationship issues with Walter and her problems she's been having with Phaedra, she has not been paying attention to her health. What the fugg? You gonna let a fake boyfriend and some chick you've known for two months stop you from taking care of yourself? Yup, Kenya is cray-cray! I had to turn away when the doctor was poking at her boobie though. That ish was brutal.

Porsha is looking for a venue to host Kordell's birthday party and she brings her sister and her little niece along. They tour a mansion with a party planner and Porsha falls in love with the classic look of the house.  During the tour, her niece starts cutting up and Porsha tries to calm her down but that baby was not feeling it. Was this really her niece or a child actor? That baby hated Porsha's guts! She almost threw her back out trying to get away from her!

 Cynthia Bailey and her fierceness are at the Bailey Agency planning her new get rich quick scheme beauty pageant. Apparently, Cynthia and her three male employees (a.k.a. "The Bailey Boys") were going to have a meeting at Porsha's house but Porsha told her she couldn't have any strangers in her home when Kordell wasn't present. I know Kordell's like thirty years older than her but is he her daddy or something? Porsha shows up at the Bailey Agency and she has a weird vibe about her, she's usually very warm and friendly but on this day, she is acting all stuck up and snooty. Immediately, Cynthia calls her out about not allowing the Bailey Boys in her home. Porsha tries to explain that she hardly lets anyone in her home when Kordell is away on business, it's just a rule that Kordell they have. One of the boys named Carlton a.k.a. Mr. Couture turns the tables and lays out the Bailey Agency rules for Porsha and this heffa is offended! They then get done to business and start talking about the upcoming pageant. Cynthia asks Porsha for a copy of her charity logo to use during the pageant and Porsha is like "yeah, yeah, I got it taken care of" Porsha's phone rings during the middle of the meeting and Cynthia is annoyed as hell! Porsha is not taking this pageant thang seriously.

Porsha tells Kordell about how she denied the Bailey Boys access into their home. Kordell is glad that Porsha "handled" that situation but she needs to "check it" with Cynthia. Um, check what? I'm confused. Kordell and his country bumpkin azz makes absolutely no sense every time he speaks. He will say about three words max and expect Porsha to fill in the blanks.  I felt dumb as fawk after watching their entire exchange.

Kandi is in the studio (lawd, why?!) to record some new tracks. She's talking to the engineer and her manager Don Juan about how she's ready to work hard and crank out some hits!  She also speaks about how she has gained weight and I'm glad she said it because I am beyond tired of looking at them hot links she packing on her neck.

Porsha and Cynthia meet at a bar and Porsha tells Cynthia about Kordell's birthday that she is planning. Cynthia decides this is a good time to bring up the pageant and she immediately fires Porsha and tells her she will no longer need her help.  LMAO! How is this dumb broad gonna get fired from volunteering her services? Porsha didn't get any of the finished task that she requested from Porsha even though she purposely didn't give her a lot to do. Porsha is just upset that she needs to go back and tell Kordell she was given the boot from the pageant. I'm telling y'all, Kordell is her DADDY not her husband!

Kandi is in the studio talking about she wants to record a gospel album. Girl, bye! Aint nobody got time for you and your signing career! Stick to writing songs please, leave the vocals to Queen Bey.

It's the night of Kordell's birthday Porsha looks beautiful! I'm glad she picked the long formal dress it was the perfect fit for her. Kordell says this is his fortieth birthday and forty is a good age...for a man. God, this man makes me dislike him more and more every time he speaks! Cynthia feels obligated to show up to Kordell's party so she drags her hubby Peter along. Porsha is still pissed about getting fired from the pageant so things are a little tense between her and Cynthia.

High yellow elf eared Walter stops by the party by himself and everyone is like, "Where's Kenya?" and Walter has no idea because clearly, their fauxlationship is over. Kordell asks Cynthia if her relationship with Porsha is still cool. Cynthia tells him yes but inside, she means "hell no". Porsha joins the conversation, and Kordell goes off and tells the ladies they make him sick, and they need to make up because he says so! Wtf is up with this man? He has queen tendencies for real.

Kenya is back at the doctor's office and the doctor is telling her that stress can contribute to cancer and Kenya says "I know where the stress is coming from". Omg, if this delusional broad don't stop with this mess! Why is she still pretending that Walter was her man? Any stress caused by her fauxlationship was from her own doing! Anyway, the doctor gives the results and Kenya is cancer free! Woohoo!

This week's episode was dryer than a pack of beauty supply weave. Where the hell was Nene? Bravo better not be phasing her out of the show! I live for her blonde bouffant and Incredible Hulk stature!

What did you think of this week's episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta?


  1. Ok, where do I start? Is it me or does Porsha's sister look a lil strange? They don't seem to resemble one another much at all. And you say Mom's was there? Hell I thought that was part of the couch. Phaedra's discomfiture towards Kenya's antics was palpable...she was too slow on the uptake to hide it. And no, Phaedra is not becoming more annoying, she's operating at her usual level of annoyance. On to Kenya...did you check out her PANcakes on that other site---ooh lawd! (Good thing she made it to the bakery later in life or she never would've had any 'career') Her fake storyline continues with the cancer scare---talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel. Thirsty bitch, anything for attention, even if you alienate all of the viewing public who deal with cancer everyday. I'll be willing to bet that we were watching someone else's tit on the monitor. Porsha and her neice: seems to me that Porsha should reconsider that childbirth issue...and twins? PUHLEEZE! The 'Bailey Boys':there's not a boy amongst them. I don't blame Porsha for nixing the idea of holding Cyntiha's meeting at her home--this was Bailey business, and Cynthia should have an area in her business to conduct such...and not at the window seat. Bitch, please take that shit to YOUR home or Bar One, if you're lacking. Kordell: you have to give this hammerheaded mysogynistic Neanderthal a pass as he is operating in overdrive trying to keep his blatant homosexuality on lock. AND he has to keep Porsha in the proper lane. That's a job-and-a-half. Kandi and her music: I just can't. Imagine her coming and going, with her kegel balls clacking and her dildo's buzzing as she tries to get prayed up in the recording booth. Yuck! Party time!: Cynthia, pick a script. You gave Porsha everything to do/ you gave Porsha little to do. You too, need to pick a lane. This was your pageant. And from the looks of Youtube, it was a mess. You knew from the onset that you didn't have the time nor the ends to make this a professional endeavor. Porsha was invited to assist, she is not your employee. On to Kordell's queen tendencies: you heard the stories outta Philly so there's no need to comment further. And yes, Kordell's Barbie doll looked beautiful at the party. This brings us full circle back to Kenya and her new fake storyline: Now everybody knows (Phaedra voice), that all women of a particular age, and Kenya; have to schedule a yearly mammography. I guess that Kenya's broke down ass didn't have health insurance prior to joining the RHOA crew and couldn't afford to be tested. Walter and Phaedra had nothing to contribute to her non story. You covered so much that I just had to comment on all of this disjointed mess. They had better bring it next week!

    1. I love everything about this comment! You went IN!!!!