Jan 7, 2013

Mob Wives Episode Recap: Close Your Legs to Married Men!

Our favorite Mob Wives are back! How many of you took a shot of tequila every time Carla said the word "junkie"?

Drita D'avanzo and Carla Facciolo are taking a walk with their cute little puppies and they get things cracking with a conversation about Big Ang's son, A.J., getting arrested for selling that white girl a.k.a. Christina Aguilera, a.k.a. cocaine and prescription drugs.

The ladies talk about all of the dope dealing that goes on in Staten Island, so they aren't surprised by the arrest at all. Drita asks Carla if she has been in contact with Renee Graziano and, of course, Carla says, "Nope." I swear Renee stays mad at Carla over some b.s. lol. Carla just can't win with that lady at all.

Carla then proceeds to call Renee a pill popper and a "Junk Box" because of Renee's alleged dependance on drugs. Well, Carla was right on the money because Renee put herself into rehab in October of 2012 for prescription drug abuse!

Renee Graziano is getting the locks changed on her home because someone broke into the house and went amuck while she was in Atlantic City. She thinks it was a personal attack because the intruder destroyed her Bible and ripped her pillows. After her ex-husband Junior (the rat) cooperated with the government, she feels unsafe in her home, and I don't blame her! She tells her son, A.J., that they are in this predicament because of his no-good father and A.J. goes off! He tells her that she needs to respect him (um, excuse me little boy?!) and she needs to quit talking negatively about his father. I cannot believe the way he was hollering at his own mother, though. Somebody needs a whoopin'!

Big Ang is chilling at home when new cast member Love Majewski stops by. Apparently, Love went to high school with Ramona Rizzo and Karen Gravano, but why the heck does she look ten years older than them?

Love has quite the rap sheet. This lady admitted on camera that she has poisoned people, shot people, and even stabbed her ex-boyfriend in front of his mother. Note to Love: some things should be kept between the pages of your diary.

And what do you know, Renee also has an issue with Love because she thinks that something went down between Love and her ex-husband, Junior. Didn't Junior cheat on Renee with everyone in Staten Island? What's the problem with adding Love to Junior's "hit list"? Renee's tripping over nothing...as usual!

Drita meets up with Renee and her new booty (if you even want to call it that because she needs a refund). Renee talks about her house getting broken into and how the intruder took a #2 in her toilet.

Drita talks about her husband, Lee, coming home from the pen in six months. In case you forgot, Lee cheated on Drita while they were married, but according to Renee, since Lee apologized for his indiscretions, Drita should automatically forgive him. Now THAT is some interesting bird logic!

Drita brings up Carla's name and Renee proceeds to pop a blood vessel and starts calling Carla a sneaky conniving wh*re, a douchebag, and a husband-stealer. Dang, dawg. Tell us how you really feel, Renee! Apparently, there was an incident where Carla was trying to steal Renee's friend's husband at a party. Drita then tells Renee that Carla called her a junkie. What a minute, I thought Carla and Drita were thick as thieves? Why is Drita telling on her girl like that?

Ramona Rizzo and her kids are having some fun racing cars. Ramona talks about having a rough year after her boyfriend Joe was arrested.  She gets no child support from her baby daddy, and the owners of the home she lives in are selling it so she needs to find an apartment to rent a.s.a.p. Her kids are upset about having to move and share a room together. But, hey, things could be worse, right?

Drita and Carla meet for lunch, and Drita immediately tells her that Renee is talking smack! Carla calls Renee a junkie (again) and says that she doesn't hate her, she just feels bad for her. How sweet of Carla.

Drita meets up with Big Ang and they talk about what else? Carla's beef with Renee, of course! Why is Drita putting herself in the middle of this? I am questioning her motives because to me, it looks like she's enjoying the drama since it's not about her (this time).

Karen Gravano, Renee, and Big Ang are chilling at The Drunken Monkey when Love walks in and mouths immediately drop! Those sneaky Mob Wives producers clearly didn't tell Karen and Renee that Love was joining the cast because they looked like John Gotti himself had risen from the grave and was standing in front of them.

Renee tells Karen and Big Ang to "take a walk" so she can have a word with Love alone. Renee brings up the rumor about Love getting freaky with Junior and Love tries to clear up the gossip once and for all. Apparently, Love's ex-boyfriend put his hands on her (and then she stabbed him jk jk jk!) and Junior jumped in to defend her and that was that! Renee made a comment about Junior only defending the women that he wants to sleep with lol. Renee knows her ex-hubby too well. Surprisingly, the ladies decide to end their beef. That was easy!

Big Ang is hosting a brunch at her home and invites Drita, Renee, and Carla over. Renee starts talking about how Carla was feening for her friend's husband and Carla says it was the other way around. The husband was following her all over the party and would not leave her alone. Renee says, of course, that little man was following her around because Carla is a "go to girl." Is that Staten Island slang for a "thotty"? Carla then gets infuriated and calls Renee a junkie (again!) Renee says she's not a junkie, she's an addict. Thanks for clarifying that for us, boo! Somewhere in the midst of this argument Carla grabs a knife and starts pointing it at Renee.

The ladies get absolutely nothing resolved and I can already tell that this Renee and Carla beef will be dragged out for the entire season. I have a headache just thinking about the amount of hollering Renee will be doing on each and every episode. Next time, I need to be sure to have some wine on deck so that I can make it through this show without wanting to gouge my own eyes out.

What did you think of the season premiere of Mob Wives?


  1. I caught the last few minutes of this show during an Atlanta Housewife commercial break. All I saw was Carla waving a butter knife lol. #wheretheydothatat?